Monday, March 30, 2009

Peace of Mind

Today went pretty smoothly. I was actually expecting the worst, but all in all it was a decent day. The news that I got and had to address this morning is all taken care of and I'm still able to live! WooHoo! The job interview was today also. It went really well and both sides were able to address the "environment" issues. The interviewers did not know that I have extensive previous dealings with the FAA and how to manage their needs. So, that did impress them and I was proud of myself. He was impressed with my aviation background and was intrigued by how I got bit by the aviation bug. I was able to let them know that the concern I have about the team that I would be joining and how I differ. They seemed to understand and agree with me, but also stated that one of these people has also wanted to have more interaction with people. But, I did tell them that if I wasn't the right fit, that I was happy where I am at. I had another manager find out I was interviewing and he voiced his concerns about me leaving the Records deptartment. It made me feel great, but then again what does that mean for my advancement? I know they want me to succeed, but we'd really have to get someone knew back there. The person we have is not working out. Work has been so busy. We've had ten clients demand to leave with their records. This is not an easy task by any means. The stack of new records to complete only diminished by 5 today! Typically all of these would have been done and almost mailed out. The problem with rushing these records through is that we are likely to make some small mistake, but one that could cost a lot of money for us, the customer, and the pilot being grounded from flying. We're going to address this tomorrow because we can't work under this pressure efficiently and get everything right. Not possible.

On to the kids. Adam is terrific.....most of the time. He's so headstrong, but helpful. He's developing his vocabulary every day. I love the way he says cow. He loves to make the "buzzzz" sound for a bee. We're working on saying "two" when someone asks how old he is. He has a different way of learning that I'm trying to adjust to. He's not the sit down and lets practice or repeat. If you start singing the ABCs, he just looks at you and says "no". But if you say "A!" he'll excitedly repeat it and keep going along with you through the alphabet. He loves his flashcards too. He's a fun little boy now. There's nothing babyish about him anymore. I just wish we could get him to eat better. We try to work with him, but obviously we're doing something wrong. It makes me feel like a bad mother when my son won't even touch his food.

Baby Belle is getting over being sick. She's been eating better. For a few days she couldn't breathe very well, making her bottle feeding a struggle. Now, she's getting chunky little thighs. Her feet are still tiny. She's not even fitting into a size 1 shoe very well yet. Her new Keds are a 1 and as long as her socks are a little thicker they stay on. She'll be three months old on April 7th. Wow! It still gets me that she's my last baby sometimes. It still amazes me that I have a son and a daughter. Oh, it's just so challenging sometimes, but when you catch the look in their eyes it just rewards you a hundred times over!

My mom's birthday party is fast approaching. I have got to make phone calls to firm up the RSVP list and select a cake. I was going to go for a more fancy cake, but the funds just aren't there for an extravagant confectionary delight. It'll still be pretty, just not like those you see on Ace of Cakes. Those cakes are freakin' awesome!

I'll be creating the kids baptism invitations soon, but I'll go ahead and let you all know the information now so that you can mark your calendars. Saturday April 25th (yes, Daniel's birthday also) 7pm at St. Luke's Catholic Parish in Irving. I know everyone is very busy this time of year, so I hope we'll see you there. If not, I'm sure there will be plenty of picture taking!

I guess that's about it for today. My mind is a little more at peace today than it has been. God blessed me today with what I needed. Thank you God!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Playing with Shadows

Friday evening was one of those sweet moments as a Mommy that you hope to remember forever. I came out of the bedroom and noticed Adam was quietly playing on the other side of the dinner table. As I looked I noticed what he was playing with. His shadow! It was so cute. He was pinching his shadow. His little fingers tried a few times to touch his shadow then he noticed I was watching. He first noticed shadows one day recently at the park. He saw all of our shadows and laughed.

It's funny how Adam's second birthday is turning out to be more difficult to plan that his first. My parents are splitting the cost of the party. We were going to do another park party, but we have such a busy few weeks that my mom convinced me to take the easy way and host a party somewhere that sets up and cleans up for us. We've done our research and I think we've decided. My parents will be over next weekend to attend baptism class with us, so we are making the trip to the place we've selected so that they can take a look. We'll also go to Grapevine Mills to select their baptism attire. I have a gown for Baby Belle, but my parents would rather not have her wear a "used" gown. It was bought at a consignment sale and appears new to me, but evidently the idea that it may have been used is not appealing to my parents. So, they have offered to buy their outfits too. They adore these two children and I adore them for always wanting to do so much for them. It's such a blessing.

Tomorrow brings a possible change for me. I will have my interview for that new position. I am pretty much going in to it decided that I will decline if I am offered the position. I think I put my name on the list more for other reasons rather than really wanting the job. It was more of not wanting to let my former boss down. He has tons of confidence in me and was concerned that I hadn't put myself in for consideration. I will interview though and go with an open mind. I have questions and concerns about who I'd be working with, so this would have to be addressed too. I guess we'll see how far my open mind will take me.

I have tons of concerns right now. All these busy weeks are taking a toll on my mind. I got some news on Friday that I have to address on Monday. I knew this was going to catch up to me, but we procrastinated. Don't worry, it'll all be settled and be taken care of . One way or another. This will add to my worries, but all I can do is try to make it right and figure it all out. I'm just bothered that these weeks will be expensive weeks and yes I just tend to worry about money all the time. I just have to keep the big picture: two healthy kids, great hubby, roof over head, food on table, electricity, car, job, friends and family, stock of diapers for kids, and formula. It'll all be ok, won't it?

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

All For Nothing

This weekend was supposed to be one of relaxation and feeling better. I woke up Saturday feeling the worst I have felt this whole time with bronchitis. I continued to work throughout being sick and I paid the price that morning. I felt absolutely awful. I gathered the energy to shower and get ready so we could research birthday party options and a few errands. This turned into a whole day of activities. The Samson's came with us and it was a full fun day. We drove to Going Bonkers and the boys had a blast! It's a McDonalds playground on steroids. Insanely loud too! When we left it was like when you leave a concert. The amazing thing was that the boys were so tuckered out there wasn't any fussing when we left. Sweet! Adam slept the whole way back and we took a look at Boomerangs. I like Boomerangs. I know the adults can't go on the inflatables, but for the sake of my sanity I think my vote is for there. It was much more controlled and calm. You could hear yourself think. No careless parents letting their children running around sockless and knocking over the little ones. Going Bonkers would have me feeling like I'm the "police" for the area. Here's Adam sliding:
Sunday we all drove out to Ennis for bluebonnet pictures. We found a great patch, but Adam was not having it. He fussed, he cried, he ran, he did anything but take pictures. I was so frustrated! All that way for nothing. The Samson's got great photos and Joshua was his charming self, but my son was not having anything to do with us. Adam's schedule has been off since the sitter was gone and he was proving to us that the twos are indeed terrible! Between being sick and his behavior, I wanted to rip my hair out. I hope my sweet son returns soon....I sure do miss him. Once we got home I got the camera out and got some beautiful pictures of Baby Belle. That's what I call her now. I think it rolls off the tongue better than just Belle. Baby Belle. Ah, she's so sweet. She laughs now! Daniel got her cracking up and I've got the video too. If only she would stay this sweet. Soon, she too will go through the terrible twos. UGH!

Work is laying off one customer support person. Thankfully I am not in the contention for this. Fortunately the center fought and got permission to fill a position that would be a lateral move for this one person. They are trying to find any way they can to avoid this layoff. I hope they are successful. I have struggled with the decision to put my name on the list of interviewees. Managers have asked why my name wasn't on the list yet, they've encouraged me, and voiced their confidence in my ability to do the job. The job would be a slight promotion with a little more money, but that's not something that concerns me. Sure the extra money would be great, but I am more interested in doing something I enjoy. I'm not sure I would enjoy doing this new job. I wouldn't enjoy the environment it's in for sure. I put my name on the list and will dicuss the options during my interview process. All I can do is try.

I am gearing up for big mom's birthday is almost hear and it's time to make final decision about the cake and other plans. Then we've got to plan for the kids baptism and celebration. Then it's time for Adam's party. I'm just hoping the funds can handle the plans.

Friday, March 20, 2009

What A Week!

Life's been definitely wacky lately. Work has been good, but now we've gotten word that there will be a layoff at the center. We're fortunate that this is the first one. Other centers are on their second and have had lots more people laid off. There will be 4 instructors laid off and 1 Customer Support person. This is going to be a tough few months. I'm not sure if this will be the only round of layoffs, no one is. But, all we can do is pray and prepare for the future, whatever that may bring. I would hate to have to get out there and job search right now. Honestly, I think if this person ends up being me, that we'd look at eliminating expenses and I would stay home for a while. It would be tight, but the more money we have the more we spend. We'd make it work. I pray that I don't have to make that choice. The company is leary of an aggressive lay off. After 9/11 they laid off a huge majority of people, only to recover in a few months and had to begin the drawn out process of rehiring. In aviation, that's not a simple task. Pilots / Instructors have to retain currency in their aircraft and this takes time. Instructors don't even produce revenue for the company for months when the are first hired. Besides all this bad news, the company is preparing some ambitious plans for it's future. A layoff will fix the immediate cash flow issues, but they still have to think of when they revive from this. Some centers, including ours, are still expanding, and now FlightSafety is planning on new centers in Africa and Japan. I hope I remain there in order to experience the new endeavours the company will take.

On a more personal note, I have been so sick. Remember when I said I have been feeling so rundown lately. Yeah, now I know why! I have bronchitis. I knew something was off. I coughed for two days, then went to the doctor on Thursday. She did a full work up on me: flu swab (just in case), checked ears, throat, and chest, oxygen saturation level, and a series of chest x-rays (I've never had an x-ray). She wanted to make sure there weren't signs of pneumonia. Thankfully, it was only bronchitis. She said they are seeing a more resistent strain this year, so she went for the strongest antibiotic- Levaquin. Oh, and I got cough syrup with codeine. I thought I would take the cough syrup and go to sleep. Yeah, not so much. I actually was wound up from it. Oh well, as long as it keeps this cough at bay. I don't seem any better yet, but I hope with rest (which I haven't gotten much of) I will begin to turn a corner.

Adam has been in rare form. His routine is off since Ms. Jean is on vacation. My niece has taken care of them so he's been full of mischief. He's got such a grin though when he's been caught. And those big brown eyes. But, he still gets a time out. Monday will much the same. His grandma is keeping him and it will take us a week to get him straightened back out after these 3 days away from Ms. Jean. She'll have fun.

Well, I am tired so I'm going to go take my meds and hit the hay. Tomorrow I hope to feel well enough to go do bluebonnet pictures and check out birthday party venues for Adam's party. Fun Fun!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Been Awhile

It's taken me a few days to have the energy to write an update. I've been feeling rundown lately and today I didn't go to work. My stomach was aching this morning and I just couldn't get the energy to even get ready. So, I called in late thinking I would make my way in later this morning, but around 10 I decided to just rest at home. Good thing, because I've spent much of my day between the bed and the bathroom.

Anyways.....Belle went to the dr. on Monday. She now weighs 11lbs. 10oz and she got four shots. She fussed at us afterwards too. She only really cried for a minute, but told us about it all the way to the car. Dr. Powell said her right eye is improving and that by 4 months the connections between her brain and her eye should be well established and the eye will settle. He checked her hips, her soft spot, her belly, and her heart. He was so happy to tell us that he really couldn't hear the heart murmur any more. Great news!!! He thinks it's probably already closing up, but we'll have to wait until she's 6 months to have her next echocardiogram to check for sure. I also had a checkup the same day. My diabetes is under control. I was glad. I spoke with him about what to do about the weight. He tested my metabolism and it came back 400 calories low. He said that's like a Big Mac meal. or an hours worth of aerobic exercise. Instead of putting me on a prescription appetite suppresant, we decided to try all natural supplements. You see, he did all this research, spoke with patients, came up with his own line of supplements, and is now nearly done with phase II trials of it. I felt reassured about taking something my own doctor created and fellow patients of his have been using for awhile. It's made of common herbs like ginger root, acai, and green tea. So, I'm giving it a try and I can tell a difference in my energy already. We'll have another checkup in two months and see how I'm doing.

Speaking of two months, they are going to be busy! April 4th we have baptism class, April 8th is my mom's 60th birthday, April 11th is the birthday celebration, April 25th is Daniel's birthday and the kids will be baptized, May 9th or 10th will be Adam's birthday party, May 11th is Adam's 2nd birthday, and we leave for Wisconsin a couple of days later. I sure hope I can keep up! In between all this will be work (the building expansion is set to finally begin) and doctor appts. 4month check up for Belle, 2 month checkup for me, 2yr checkup for Adam. I better get a calendar going as I am bound to forget something.

This past weekend we went to the consignment sale in NRH. They didn't have much for Adam's size, but they had tons for the baby! She has plenty of onesies and stuff like that, but she didn't have any girly dresses that could fit her now. So, I think I wiped them out of cute dresses. I think I found the perfect one for bluebonnet pictures. It's simple white cotton with a pastel plaid ribbon around the waist. I will try to get a picture up of the dresses we found. I finally broke down and bought one of those huge wraps that you can interchange bows on. Too cute! It's so much fun dressing her up. But what's even more fun is watching her watch Adam. She is getting more observant and she realizes that her brother loves to be right next to her. To watch them grow up together is going to be the best. I know there will be fights and days when I wonder if they'll ever get along, but I know that he'll always be there to protect her and she'll adore having a big brother. I think she already does. Baby is the first word he speaks in the morning and he gives her night night kisses before heading off to bed. It's one of the best moments of my day.

Work has been good. It's been kinda slow, yes due to the economy, but we're lucky at our center. We were profitable and we are pretty lean in terms of employees. We're shorthanded in our center and we've been operating like this for awhile. The building expansion is about to start because it's better for business in DFW. We have 16 simulators right now and it looks like 8 more are on the way. They are building additional space to accomodate 8 more after that. The center is going to double in size, there will be dedicated space for Falcon and Gulfstream teams. They are going to be closing in the area outside my window. I'm concerned about losing my view. I really don't care to see the backsides of construction workers all day. It is going to be a huge building once all is done in May 2010, but it will be a great center. Ours is only 8 years old and is considered one of the best already, so this should just add to it. Can you tell I'm proud of my job? I really am. It has it's days of course, but I really do like my job. My days are never the same. It's fun to keep track of airline talk, at least it is to me, but I've been in the airline industry for 9 years or so.

I have to go get the kids now. At least it's not raining right now. Yesterday was insane. I was soaked by the time I got the kids in and out of the car twice yesterday. Thanks to the wind, my umbrella is now broken. Now I've got to remember to get a new one.

Monday, March 2, 2009


It's been a busy, stressful, sad, chaotic, fun few days. Yes, all those are perfect descriptions. The last few days of work have been pretty crazy, but it's good to be back in a fun environment. Leonard and I still crack up laughing as we work. He was out on Friday and it never fails that this is when I get bombarded with the strangest questions and issues. Friday we also sold the Acura. So, Daniel went to work in the car, but I had to go get him. This was also the day of his coworkers wake. So, I got off work at 4, came home, packed up the kids' stuff, picked up the kids, drove to Daniel's work and waited. Of course, he wasn't ready to leave. Finally we left around 6:30 to go to the wake that was all the way in Oak Cliff. The wake was so sad, but yet joyous too. It was a celebration. Phillip was only 23 years old and even though I only met him once, I am thankful I got to meet him. He leaves behind two little ones who are too young to really have memories oh him.

Saturday the kids spent the night with my mom and sister. They love keeping them and my mom just loves to cuddle with them. Isabelle loved being held by her and gazing into her eyes. It was so special to watch them together. After we said goodbye we headed to the Gaylord. Leonard's birthday is the 5th, so he started celebrating early. A friend that used to work with came too and it was great to catch up. We went to the Glass Cactus and saw Le Freak. They are a 70s cover band and they were awesome! They came out in huge afro wigs, fur coats, and huge sunglasses. They played all the biggest disco hits and everyone had a great time. The DJ played good music between their sets. It was hilarious to watch everyone sing along to Ice Ice Baby and LL was dancing just like Vanilla Ice. He is a great dancer and just has a good time where ever he goes. It was time to call it a night at 2am and guess what. The shuttle that runs from the hotel to the club stops before the club even closes. How stupid is that? So, it's windy and cold and it's quite a hike from the club to the hotel. Especially after a few drinks. The hotel sent one of their drivers in a Suburban to pick us up. We went to another friend's suite, but left shortly after to our own room. I think it was about 3:30am- way past my bedtime. Of course, after having two kids in two years, I had a few too many. I had quite the hangover yesterday. Don't worry, learned my lesson. I am not a young pup anymore! Adam had a blast and my sister just adores him, but he was happy to be home. Isabelle was so smiley last night. It's like she was happy to be home and I was happy to hold her and talk to her. These kids just melt me! It was fun to have a good time, but it was even better to see the kids. Last night, Adam slipped on the tile and fell. He screamed out "OWWWWWW!" I just knew he was hurt because he very rarely cries when he falls. As I'm rushing to him, he calls out "I OK, I OK" It was so cute!!!!!!!!

This past week made me do alot of thinking. I thought about how much my life has changed. I am absolutely in love with my son and daughter. I would do anything to make them happy. I would give my life so that they could continue theirs. I think back to how selfish I was and how now I can't imagine my life without these two precious beings. But, I'm also thankful that I have time to take for myself. My time without my kids around recharges my batteries. It lights me up when I see them once they've been away from me, even when it's just coming home from work. I have a job that offers alot of perks and it was nice to be able to use one for once to cut loose and catch up with friends. I've got so many blessings to be thankful for and I hope my family knows that I am such a better person because of them.